Saturday, January 11, 2014

Happy New Year: The Endeavor

Admittance: I tend to bite off more than I can chew. I always get ahead of myself with goals, writing to-do lists so long it's near impossible to check everything off. There's a bit of a dreamer there, an idealist. I like to think I can take on the world. (Who doesn't?) Every new year is no different. I sit, I ponder, I plot and plan. All at once a huge, imponderable list of promises unfolds. A vain part of me refuses to call them resolutions, because with that name comes bitter-tasting connotations.They're "goals." The name is gentler, warmer on my soul.

Sometimes I succeed.

More often than not, they fall through - and not from ill intentions. (The best laid plans, right?)

This New Year's Eve I couldn't help but wonder "why?" Why do these not-resolutions slip through my grasp, sliding like putty past my fingers? I'm still not entirely sure of the answer. It's not like I purposefully sink my claws in the ground and refuse to accomplish anything. Maybe the newness of the year wears off. All of the excitement and promise fades with the realization that it is another year, with one that came before and after, each, at some level, fundamentally the same. Some of that invincibility gets shaken and with the list tucked away, out of sight, out of mind, it's easy for good intentions to get lost in the crowd.

Gee, that's not a very good way to boost one's self-esteem. It's a big, waving flag of "you're not able to stick with anything." Over and over again, letting myself down, never proving it to myself that if I stick with it, I can achieve anything.

Well, the overachiever that I am is taking a stand this year. This year I'm going to prove it to myself: I can achieve anything with a bit of persistence and dedication. My strategy? Holding myself accountable. (A new important trend in my life.) Every time I achieve an accomplishment, I'm going to post it. I may start out not wanting to fail because of not wanting to let an external force down - you - but by the end of the year it will have sunk in that with the right motivation, I can get anything done.

I hope you'll join me - post your goals, document your achievements on your little space of the web or comment here. Don't make it too serious! Have fun with it! Make it a game out of it. Take pictures to commemorate each step towards a goal. Develop narratives. Laugh as you fumble through. Laugh at yourself if you slip up in your goals, there's no need to be hard on yourself - start anew tomorrow. Play.

I look forward to seeing your adventures.

My 2014 Goals:
- Play more
- Blog more

- Learn at least one new thing a month
- Read 5 new books this year for fun. 
- Be more adventurous and go out of my comfort zone more, so that, hopefully, it expands!
- Live more from the heart. (Give more freely and more often. Random acts of kindness. Only accept that love I deserve. Live my truth. Speak my truth. Conform less. Be more open, honest and vulnerable in my relationships.)
- Keep better in touch with my friends - and family - than before, no matter how crazy the school year is. See friends more. Call. Write. Skype. The losses of life this year and the year prior that have hit close to home have reminded me how short life is. While I may feel like I am going to live forever some days, I know better. I want every second to count. I want to live forever in a moment, an eternity in a minute.
- Pamper myself 1x a week. Because I'm worth it. Saturday is beautiday!
- Be more active, more fit, including working out at least 1x a week. (With the goal of 1x a day by the end of the year)
Meditate for 5-30 minutes a day, every day, no matter how busy I am.
- Write. Beyond this blog, in my stories. No more putting it off!
- Art. Play. Experiment. Get creative.
- Take a trip. I was supposed to go to NH last year to a camp with a friend, but plans fell through. Plans are to make up for that this year!
- Finish at least two unfinished projects. This is a bit of a play on the larger theme of this endeavor, on sticking with things and proving to myself that I can finish things. I've a tendency to not complete things. This goes beyond New Year Goals. In particular, I'm thinking of a few vision boards of mine and a drawing I've never completed but always sweat I will. Completely at least two of my unfinished projects screams "I'm a finisher!" to my brain.
- Get an income.
- Prep for wedding photography. (This is mostly here because I need a reminder to not let this obligation slip from my thoughts. Photographing my brother's wedding means I need to think on and practice poses, camera settings, angles and arrangements.)

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