Guest Post: Discovering YOUR Look After The Diaper-Bag Years

College is a beast. Chemistry is another language entirely. Group projects take a lot of effort. These are all among the reasons why I have been entirely and utterly absent. But, never fear! A really wonderful blogging buddy from "Is It Hot In Here?" Menopause, Motherhood & More swooped in to the rescue with this blog post. Thank you, L!

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Without further wait, moms and future mom’s out there, this one is for you!

L fixed this stained purse herself! She glued
a flower on the purse that had neutral colors in it,
to tie the whole thing together. Saved the $75 purse
with a $1 craft flower!

Recently, I admired an acquaintance’s shoes while we were waiting on the blacktop.  “Oh yeah,” she said.  “I decided, now that my youngest is in kindergarten, to finally get 'grown-up' shoes again.  It was a lot harder than I thought.”  I immediately understood.  Once a mother is past the diaper-bag and toddler stages of her littlest one's life, she often realizes that that all of her clothes, shoes, and accessories are utilitarian, rather than fashionable. They're designed to hide spit stains, are easy on/easy off, are good for wrestling and chasing children in, and have enough room for diapers, snacks, drinks, extra clothes, toys, etc.

In Charise's case, not only were her clothes more practical than pretty, but she had no idea who she is now.  We aren't the women we were before we had our children.  We're older and possibly in a different decade of our lives.  We may not be working while our wardrobes are still predominately business attire.  We  often have a better idea of what the other people in our lives think we should look like (husbands, partners, parents, friends) rather than knowing what WE like.

So what do you do?  Here are a few suggestions:

1.                  Look at magazines and websites.  Put down the parenting rags and look at sources designed for people  of your own age and situation.  For example, Charise is no longer a working , 30-something Wall Street manager; she's now a 40-something stay-a-home mother whose needs are different than they were before.  She wants stylish clothes that fit her daily life.  You'll find a list of helpful sites at the end of this post.

2.                  Take some time to yourself to investigate stores you like and try on different clothes.  Yes, this is time-consuming and I, for one, find it unpleasant, but it's necessary.  You don't have to buy from those stores, but trying garments on will give you an idea of what looks good on you and what you like.  Take pictures with your camera phone.  You can always order styles online, often at a fraction of the cost of store inventory.

3.                  Notice women you admire who might be in situations similar to yours with similar body types. I've admired  women on the blacktop, in the grocery store, and even waiting for my daughter at gymnastics.  I keep watching them to see what pieces they have in their wardrobe that I like and try to remember for when I do go shopping for myself. 

4.                  Don't be afraid to shop in the men's or other departments.  Some of the best flannel shirts I've ever bought, good for hanging out in on snowy days or wearing over leggings to a friend's house have come from the men's section of a store. 

5.                  Look for multi-purpose pieces.  Large scarves are not only fashionable, but can be worn as shawls on cold days.  Scarves themselves add a sophisticated touch to any wardrobe. Intimidated by how to fold them?  Here's a link that will show you 38 ways to tie a scarf.

6.                  For hairstyles, again, check out websites or go to a hair salon you trust and ask what they suggest.  Now that you're no longer limited by the prospect of a baby hanging on to your locks for dear life, you have many more options.

7.                  Find out what a store's return policy is before you buy those heels.  I think fashion should be practical, so even though you don't have to dash after a toddler anymore, nor should your feet suffer with blisters just so you can look good.

8.                  Don't forget to check your closet for pieces you can use.  I have so many purses that are still useful.  I've glued on flowers or other decorative pieces to update them and make them coordinate with what I'm wearing.  Here's where you can put your creative juices to good use!

And again, think about what YOU like!  Just because your mother says you should dress in black because “it looks slimming, Dear” doesn't mean you have to.  If your husband wants you to wear heels when you go out, but they kill your feet, invite him to wear them instead!  Your appearance says everything about you, the real you, not the “box” others have placed you in.  Embrace yourself for the person you are NOW, not the shadow who you once were.  The diaper-bag and toddler years are over – go find yourself!

Here are some resources to find the look you want at any age:

Hairstyles For Fall/Winter 2014. (Hint:  variations on the pony tail are hot this season!)

Fall/Winter 2014 Fashion:
Key to Chic
Best Fashion Blog

How To Update Your Wardrobe When You're On A Budget.

Knitting Holes Together Again

I have learned to knit!

(Confession: Okay, maybe it is more relearned. It's been a...very, very long time since I last picked up needles and yarn. I might as well have been learning for the first time!)

Even though January is not nearly over, I have accomplished my first learning task. For the past few several years a bag of yarn has been sitting on the top shelf of my closet beside my bag of knitting books and dozens of needles of varying sizes. They've been sitting there. Untouched. I've been itching to use them but I keep making excuses for why I don't. I don't have anyone to give finished projects to. I'll get too addicted. I have so many other projects to do! Mainly: I don't have enough time!

Well, so long excuses! Helllloooo, action!

A week of emotional turmoil that ripped at my heart could only be cured through some creative play. But I had no inspiration to draw. Words wouldn't come when I tried. Painting felt like too much work. My camera weighed 2 tons. I sat there, trying to charge through the numb haze I was living in by use of comedies and reading. Not even they could distract me. My mind was a hamster wheel - going, going, going.

Knitting filled the void that was growing in my chest. It brought me back together, back to my center so that I could heal. It gave me focus. While I knit, my mind could wander and wrestle with the situation, then come right back, ebbing and flowing like the ocean waves. Without driving me crazy it let me work through my hurt. You could say it knit my holes together.

What do I have to show for it?

A new, warm, short scarf! Through use of knitting books and youtube videos (my favorite source for knitting help is knittingtipsbyjudy) I was able to cast on, successfully knit stitch and bind off. More excitedly for me, though, was that I was able to successfully do something I have never attempted before: add a new ball of yarn. In the past, when I used to knit, I had cast on, cast off and completed the knit stitch. Never once had I ever added a new ball of yarn the proper way. Cautious me do that? No way! I was too nervous! Instead I'd tie a knot between the two balls and go on with my knit stitches as normal.

Going with my new trend of stepping beyond my comfort zone and learning new things, I didn't give myself the option of security this time around. With help from knittingtipsbyjudy's video,  How to Knit: Binding Off, I completed it like a pro. It looks as if I just used one ball of yarn for the whole thing.

I was beaming afterward. I remember racing upstairs from my apartment to show my parents. I was like a kid who just learned something for the first time. Proud. Excited.

The scarf was not without difficulties. A bit too late I discovered I didn't have enough yarn to bind off. I could not find any more yarn that matched the balls I used. It was a nerve wrecking conundrum. After the success of casting on, my knit stitches and adding a new ball of yarn I didn't want to wreck the best looking scarf I had ever made.

Stubbornness took over. Hard-headed stubbornness.

By the end of it, I was holding on to a length of yarn the size of my finger nail, trying to finish the last stitch of the bind off. It was crazy. It was insane. My hands were shaking. My heart was pounding, palms sweating. But it worked. I couldn't be more happy!

I might just wear this to classes tomorrow!

What have you fun thing have you learned lately? When was the last thing you knit?